When I am out on the golf course, I ignore the sand trap and I focus on the pin. I visualize hitting a hole in one. I relax. I breathe deeply. I “see” my success before it happens.
The result?
I slice the ball into the woods. Next, I hook the ball into the parking lot. The positive, feel-good stuff does not work for me on the golf course.
Next, I go to the basketball court to the half court line. I visualize sinking a net shot. I aim, I shoot and – whooof. Nothing but air. I miss everything.
If you speak long enough to groups in-person or on TV or radio, you are likely to offend somebody seriously. If you are on a TV or radio show that has a call-in format, you might be called a fascist or a communist, simply for expressing a mild preference for a mainstream political figure. If you are giving a speech, someone in the audience may ask you a threatening question, or worse, try to shout you down.
You are about to face a tough interview and you fear certain subjects that might come up. Why?
If you really want to prepare for a new media interview, then write down what you think the 20 hardest, nastiest, toughest, meanest questions a reporter could ask you. When you are finished with the list, walk away from it for a few minutes. Next, pick up the list and read the questions out loud. Then, with colleagues, associates or other PR counsel figure out the most positive, non-defensive way to answer these questions within 10 seconds AND (and I do mean AND AND AND) how to bridge back to one or more of your main positive message points that you want to get across during the interview (talk about those for the next 20-30 seconds to complete your answer).
Nothing can mar a good speech faster than appearing condescending to the audience, especially if you are a political figure covered by the news media. In late September 2006 Bush Administration official Karen P. Hughes gave a speech to 500 women in Saudi Arabia. Hughes told that women that she hoped that they could one day earn the right to be able to drive a car and be able to “fully participate in society.â€
To Western ears, these don’t seem like radical or even interesting sentiments. But Hughes’ comments elicited a stinging rebuke from the audience. One woma challenged Hughes by saying the following:
by TJ Walker & Jess Todtfeld
You’re about to give a speech in front of a room full of people…
Maybe you’re about to be interviewed? Maybe you’re arriving at a cocktail party and have to make small talk? Suddenly, your heart starts to pound. Your breathing becomes rapid and shallow. Your sweat glands go into overdrive. Your body is sending you signs that any of these forms of public speaking are not for you. What do you do? One of the typical responses is to shut down or flee. Thankfully, there is help.
As a public speaker, I like big audiences, the larger the better. There’s a chance to reach more people and have a bigger impact. But from an audience’s perspective; there will never be anything better than having a monopoly of the speaker’s attention—and that means no one else is in the room.
When you speak to only one person, you can see if they get what you are saying. You can ask that person a question if it seems he/she doesn’t understand.
According to a survey of 1,500 retired British people (as reported by the May 2007 Men’s Health Magazine) 33% of people have a lifelong regret that they never stood up to their boss. Comparatively, only 21% of people regretted marrying the wrong person.
To me, that’s amazing! I would have thought more people would have regretted their martial choice. But what is truly bizarre is going through life wanting to standup to the boss and not doing so. I’m not talking about beating up the boss or throwing a computer through a glass conference room wall. To me, standing up to a boss simply means confidently and authoritatively stating your positions that are counter to your boss’s.
“Why is everyone a horrible presenter in my organization except for me?â€
That’s a question I get quite frequently from CEOs and bosses. My answer?
“It’s your own darn fault!â€
Here’s why. Many bosses intimidate their employees. Therefore the employees create data-filled PowerPoint slides cram-packed with numbers, facts and complex graphics. The employees’ sole objective is to avoid criticism for being “unprepared.†In order to cram as much data in the presentation as possible, the employee presenter removes all examples, anecdotes, stories and, for that matter, anything remotely interesting from the presentation.
Ever notice that people who walk around saying “I’m no good at math†use that as an excuse not to balance their checkbook or pay their bills on time? Or people who say “I’m not clean and organized†have messy desks?
Are these people really lacking some rare talent that other people possess? Usually, the answer is “no,†they are just making excuses. These excuses create a permanent mindset that becomes habit and the next thing you know, all of their life experiences confirm their low opinion of their particular skill in that area.
Everyone has heard the oft-quoted statistic that public speaking is the number one fear people have, but why is it a fear. There is no immediate threat of death or physical harm from a poorly delivered speech.
I think the central emotion surrounding public speaking is guilt, not fear. People feel guilty because they fear they will disappoint their audience and themselves. They feel guilty about boring their audience. They feel guilty about doing a data dump they know will put people to sleep. And they feel guilty about committing a disservice to their career and organization.