When telling stories about yourself to make an important point to your audience, it is imperative that you give enough details so that the audience makes the right conclusions about you. It’s fine to tell self-deprecating stories. It’s even Ok to talk about your mistakes and your blunders. But you don’t want to tell a story in such a way that you make the audience hate you or write you off as a flake or an unstable person.
It may be cute our funny to curse around family, friends, or colleagues. It may even be necessary. At times a choice expletive may be the perfect way of conveying the importance you attach to a certain action or inaction. But cursing while giving a public presentation or media interview doesn’t work, in my estimation.
Some people curse to be funny; others to seem ‘real’ or ‘hip.’ Some curse to differentiate themselves from stuffed shirts or other pompous figures. These are, perhaps, all admirable motives.
When writing an important letter that will go to all of your clients, customers, colleagues and boss, you usually want to go through several drafts. There are very few among us who are so confident in our writing skills that we simply dictate a first draft and then say to an assistant, “Send it out, as is, to the media and the rest of world:”
No, most of us like to write a rough draft. Then we hit spell-check, and perhaps grammar check. Next, we may ask a colleague or a public relations counselor to take a look and give a critique.
What separates the good from the great when it comes to making speeches or media appearances? The biggest difference is that great media performances or speeches contain some message that is different or unique.
If you want to be considered a great interview, you have got to come up with a message that sets you apart. Too many of my clients come to me with boring media messages or speeches. Sure they get through the interview OK. No harm is done to their career. But the real question is how much more could they have helped their career if they had spent more time coming up with something genuinely interesting to say to the media or their speaking audiences?
What do you do if you are a guest on a TV or radio news program and the other guest or guests are hogging all of the airtime?
For starters, remember, this is no time to be passive. Air time is valuable and you are going to have to fight for yours. Do not simply wait to be called upon by the host or moderator.
Next, listen strategically. When the host or guest says something you can react to and add to, do so instantly. You aren’t in First Grade and you don’t have to raise your hand and wait to be called on by the teacher.
If you speak long enough to groups in-person or on TV or radio, you are likely to offend somebody seriously. If you are on a TV or radio show that has a call-in format, you might be called a fascist or a communist, simply for expressing a mild preference for a mainstream political figure. If you are giving a speech, someone in the audience may ask you a threatening question, or worse, try to shout you down.
Members of the media have become increasingly demanding toward the subjects they cover. Members of the mainstream media seemingly take great delight in exposing a big shot’s inability to manipulate the media.
Case in point, look at this story on the front page section of the January 9, 2006 New York Times sports page on New York Jets general manager, Terry Bradway. If you think that just because you are not a politician or the CEO of a big public company that the media will somehow take it easy on you, just read below and you will be disabused of that notion.
Many people are caught off guard when asked to give a 20-30 minute speech. Most of my clients act as though this is some weird, special request, as if the topic were �What Should U.S. Foreign Policy Be Toward North Korea?�
The reality is that most of the time when we are asked to give a speech, it is on a topic on which we are experts. Typically, most people are asked to speak on subjects that they work on every day for weeks, months, years and even decades. Hence, Bill Gates is asked to speak about the computer industry. Henry Aaron is asked to speak about baseball. You are likely to be asked to speak about your mutual fund, if you run a mutual fund.
You are about to give a big speech and you are understandably tensed up. You are thinking and thinking and memorizing, and focusing, focusing, focusing. If you were any tenser you’d break in two.
You know this and you feel this, but don�t show your audience. Remember, your audience can’t read your mind or see inside your knotted stomach. They will never know about your sorry psychological state if you wear a mask. You don’t have to buy a rubber Halloween mask or take a trip to Africa for a wood carved one.
Instead, simply smile.