TJ’s Insights

Many of the most confident CEOs who excel from the speaking platform suddenly become awkward children when it comes to making small talk at cocktail parties and networking events. If you have ever suffered this problem (and few of us haven’t), then keep the following 10 tips in mind:

1. Smile and exude fun (even if you aren’t having fun). Everyone wants to talk to someone who seems fun.
2. Realize that everyone else feels mildly awkward too—you aren’t alone.
3. No witty opening lines are needed. Just walk up to people and say “Hi” or “hello.”
4. Ask people about themselves, who they are and what they do. Then listen intently.
5. Be able to tell someone who you are and what you do. Be able to do this in an interesting and captivating way in under a minute.
6. Ask people sincere follow up questions about themselves that demonstrate you were listening to them and that you care.
7. Don’t go for the profound. If you looked at a transcript of the most famous and well-known conversationalists in the world, you wouldn’t be that impressed. It’s Ok to talk about ordinary events and ideas.
8. Really look at the person you are talking to. Don’t let your eyes wonder in search of a more interesting person to speak with.
9. Search for commonality of interests in hobbies or business. If there is a fit, ask to exchange business cards.
10. Don’t be embarrassed to end a conversation. Simply say “It’s been a pleasure to meet you” then smile and perhaps shake the person’s hand and then move on.

Get the latest TJ Walker video tutorials at the Speaking Channel homepage, or add to your arsenal of speaking tips and tools at the Media Training Worldwide Store

Savvy speakers know that it’s best to script the exact introduction you want to receive from the person who is introducing you to a speaking audience. Leave nothing to chance!

But here’s something you probably haven’t thought of—script exactly what you want your introducer to say when you have concluded your presentation—your outro. Too many speakers finish a great speech only to have the introducer walk up and say “Wasn’t Jim great? Thanks Jim, let’s give him another round of applause.” And that’s it.

When you are speaking in a new room for the first time, and you are using a new microphone/speaker system, it always pays to test the system in advance. The challenge is not just to turn the mic on and talk to see if it works-the trick is to see if the mic works everywhere in the room. If you are a skilled speaker, you will be walking around the room a great deal throughout your presentation. The microphone might work well in most areas, but create feedback and distortion in other parts of the room. The key is to learn where the hotspots are in a room so that you can avoid them while you are presenting. Nothing can shut down your tempo or ruin the mood of your presentation than for there to be a sudden, loud, screeching sound coming out of the speakers making everyone cover their ears.

You can have the best presenting skills in the world, but if you don’t have anything to say, you will still bomb. Case in Point: CBS Evening News Anchor Katie Couric’s daily podcast video blog.

I am not one of the many Katie Couric detractors, and I’m also not a huge fan. But Katie makes $15 million a year and definitely has an easy-going and likeable TV presence. When she puts the spotlight on her interesting guests, she can be quite engaging.

There is a world of difference when it comes to delivering a competent public speech versus delivering a speech professionally for a fee. It’s the difference between singing Karaoke once in a while versus singing in a concert hall and charging people good money to hear your perform.

This isn’t to suggest that the typical business executive or political leader is less skilled at speaking or makes less money than the typical professional speaker/trainer. (Average pay for CEOs of big companies: $10 million per year. Average pay for professional speakers in 2005 according to the National Speakers Association: $28,000)

Leaders use speeches to paint a picture of the future that is often wildly more optimistic than conventional wisdom.

John F. Kennedy pledged to direct the Federal Government’s energies to put a man on the moon by the end of the 1960’s.

Martin Luther King called for a world where his children would be judged solely on their character.

Bill Gates told his employees and investors of his dreams to control the insides of most people’s computers.

Jack Welch aimed for being number one or two in every sector GE was in, in part, by firing the bottom 10% of employees each year.

“I don’t need a microphone; I have a loud voice.”

I hear arrogant speakers say this all the time—it’s a big mistake! Of course the speaker doesn’t need a microphone, speakers never need microphones. It’s the audience that needs a microphone. The audience needs the speaker to use a microphone in order to hear the speaker.

Many speakers think of themselves as confident presenters with rich, full voices. They then equate their ability to project with an overall sense of strength and power. “My voice is bigger and more powerful than your voice…” goes the sentiment.

“Pander” is a harsh word; it’s one I hope never applies to me or you in our dealings with our audiences. But I do think that it is important for speakers to genuinely care for their audiences and to show that they care. In a longer format setting such as a half-day or full day training session, you as the speaker should be concerned if your audience members are too hot or too cold. Perhaps everyone just had a restroom break 40 minutes ago, but you can tell more people want one now. Fine, give it to them.

Insecure speakers hate it when audience members look skeptical or ask questions that doubt the premises or facts of the speaker.

“How dare that insolent person question my authority?” fumes the speaker.

Great speakers take another attitude. We love audience members who doubt us or question us.

When an audience member doubts or questions you, then the following positive things are true:

1. The audience member is listening to you!!! (Always a good thing and not necessarily something that can be counted on).
2. The audience member at least partially understands what you are talking about.

According to Cyndi Maxey and Kevin E. O’Connor, authors of “Present Like A Pro,” (St. Martin’s Griffin 2006), a professional level speaker always ends unexpectedly. When I first read that I thought “Huh?”

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how correct Maxey and O’Connor are. Too many speakers feel they can just end by saying “and in conclusion, my three key points are blah, blah, and blah.” Your ending is a great place to shine by showing flashes of creativity—don’t blow it.