TJ’s Insights

One problem I encounter with some of my clients is that they take themselves so seriously, they are afraid to express themselves in anything but dull, elevated and abstract language. The result? They don’t get quoted.

Billionaire investor Warren Buffett is obviously a man who takes money seriously, but he never puts on airs himself. In April 2006 he was on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange being interviewed by reporters. Buffett’s message was that even though he is 75 years old, he is still looking for new investment opportunities and is still a vital worker. But is he had said it like that it would have been boring and unquotable. Instead, he told reporters the following:

Woody Allen once said that “80% of success in life is just showing up.” I don’t know that I agree with that completely, but there is a large element of truth to that when it comes to communicating. Too many people just fail to show up the second or third or fourth time they should be communicating with an audience.

I routinely go to the websites of peers in my industry of media training and presentation coaching to sign up for their email newsletters. These are usually billed as monthly or quarterly newsletters. But a funny thing happens, after the first or second newsletter, I never receive anymore. And it’s not because they have removed me from their list for competitive reasons; they have no new newsletters posted on their web site either. They just give up.

Some Speakers give roughly the same speech to different audiences for several months and their speeches get flatter and more boring as time goes on. The life goes out of the speech.Other speakers give the same speech for months at a time and it gets better; it improves with age.

What is the difference?

I have dealt with thousands of reporters, journalists, talk show hosts and others in the media business during my lifetime and other than a few obnoxious shock jocks who pulled guns on me or hung up on me, I’ve always been treated honorably and fairly.
But the media field is no different from politics or law or teaching-bad apples exist.

In March 2006 billionaire investor Ron Burkle figured out that he was being extorted by a gossip columnist for the New York Post, so Burkle alerted the authorities and had his meeting with the reporter, Jared Paul Stern, videotaped. Below are excerpts of the transcript of this meeting, as first reported in the New York Daily News.

Everyone has heard the expression, “dress for the job you want, not the job you currently have,” meaning dress better than you need to now. Dress at a more professional level so that people can visualize you in that higher position. Not only will you be more likely to get the higher position, but once you are there, the transition period will be smoother.

This is sound advice and can also be applied to public speaking skills. Many executives make the mistake of thinking, “my current job doesn’t require much public speaking, so I don’t have to worry about that now. As my career develops, I’ll have plenty of time to develop speaking skills later.”

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Through my years as a media trainer I’ve noticed seven common key blunders that average-to-better speakers make when they are trying to improve eye contact with their audience members. They are as followed:
 
1.    Looking at one or two friendly faces to the exclusion of all others.
2.    Focusing exclusively on the one or two least friendly faces, in order to win them over.
3.    Focusing on just one part of the room, especially those in the exact center (to the exclusion of people on the sides and the back).
4.    Giving excessive eye contact to the boss or the senior client/prospect in the room (a great way to make everyone else feel insignificant).
5.    Looking at one person for longer than one thought (this can seem like freaky staring).
6.    Ignoring any one individual when you have a small audience (say, less than 30 people).
7.    Looking too intently and blankly (you need a smile or some other expression to liven things up).
 
Remember, the real key to great eye contact with your audience is to hold one person’s eyes for a whole thought and then to move to someone else. Each time imagining that you are having a one-on-one conversation with that one person. And then continuing to do this in a zig zag way in order to connect with as many individual audience members in the room as possible during your presentation.