On the lighter side: Want to watch a funny (and pointless) argument?
There are many different styles of effective communication, but arguing with someone is typically the worst possible way to attempt to communicate. Once you enter the mode of arguing, listening shuts down by everyone in the argument.
Now, I'm the first one to admit it, I like arguing. In fact, for many years I was a TV and radio talk show host with a focus on politics. So yes, I argued for hours everyday. And I listened to a lot of people yelling and screaming at me on the air.
However, there is a difference between arguing on a talk show versus arguing with a boss, client, customer, friend or family member. If you or I argue on a TV or radio show, we might not convince the person we are arguing with, but we might convince the vast audience.
Back to real life: you don't have an audience when you are arguing (unless you count your kids listening to you argue with your spouse). So it really never pays to have arguments in real (non-media) life.
You may have won high school or college debate competitions, you may be a successful courtroom lawyer, but arguing with people in real life will typically not result in you communicating your messages effectively. It will most likely make you hated -- so don't do it.
How can you avoid an argument?
If someone interrupts you, don't interrupt back. If someone gets louder and angrier talking to you, don't get louder back. Maintain your own conversational volume.
If someone makes several factual mistakes in a heated discussion with you, don't revel in correcting every single fact. Instead, focus on something you agree on.
My goal is not to train you to let people walk all over you or to turn you into a bland yes-man/woman. There may be times when you want to argue with friends just for the fun of it - I know I do. Just make sure you aren't fooling yourself into thinking you are actually communicating.
Of course you should state your opinions with confidence. Of course we all disagree with people from time to time; that is a normal course of human interaction.
But the second the person you are talking to feels that you two are in an argument, your ability to communicate messages has just dropped dramatically. So do whatever you can to lower the volume, temperature, cross talk and interruptions (not to mention name-calling) to insure maximum communication.
More Insights from TJ Walker & Jess Todtfeld
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TJ Walker talks about how Tiger Woods is destroying his brand and how other companies can learn from his media mistakes.
Your Speech Time
Focus on your message, your stories, your audience, and the length of your speech will take care of itself.
If you are running short on time, don't start speaking faster to “squeeze it all in.”
If you talk too fast, you might as well start speaking gibberish because your audience will absorb nothing you say.
Follow a logical structure of history: the present, arguments, and finally the future.
Going over your time limit is an unforgivable sin.
You must know your audience’s time expectations and then meet or beat those expectations.
DON’T get caught peeking at your watch during the middle of your presentation. (You may even want to remove your watch from your wrist and place it standing up on a table or lectern nearby.)
Dressing for TV
Dress in a simple, boring manner, unless you are a fashion designer.
We want TV viewers to focus on your face and what you say, not your clothes.
Avoid light colored pants.
Wear over the calf socks.
Don't wear more than one ring per hand.
Women shouldn't wear short skirts if you want people to focus on your message.
If you wear a dark shirt, dark suit, and dark tie, you will look like you are auditioning to be a hit man on the “Sopranos.”
Vests can look stuffy on TV.
People shouldn’t judge you by your appearance, but they will.
Upcoming Events
Q&A with MTW Team
December 21, 2009
Anywhere - Online
Interactive Web TV Show
December 21, 2009
New York, NY
A one-day workshop on how to create simple, talking-head videos that will maximize your public relations effectiveness.
2 SHORT VIDEO
LESSONS OF THE DAY
AUDIO
LESSON OF THE DAY
World Leaders speak about a topic they are passionate about for days, months even years! Until they get results.
You need to give the same speech to different audiences, multiple times. By the third time your boring yourself and your audiences. TJ Walker offers some advice how to keep things interesting.
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Your Speech Time 
Dressing for TV 
