The Art of Asking

Many people like to fool themselves into thinking that they can’t give formal presentation or that they can “give a speech.” But what is a speech? In my book, it’s anytime you open your mouth to communicate a message to one or more people.

So giving a “speech” is not just a politician advocating a tax cut or a tax increase in a 30-minute appeal to congress. A speech can be as simple as a baby screaming for “mama!” or “bottle.”

The simplest form of speech is asking for milk, attention, an allowance, a job, a raise, a vote, or a marriage contract. What we ask for may change; the price or value of what we ask for may vary, but the fundamental act of communicating through speech by asking one or more people to do something really doesn’t change.

What is the biggest difference between a minimum wage laborer and a star real estate broker who makes $4 million a year in commissions? The real estate broker mastered the art of asking people to do things he or she wants them to do. The minimum laborer didn’t master that art. This doesn’t mean the laborer is a bad person or morally inferior, but this inability to develop the skill of asking has stifled a career.

Too often people get caught up in the idea that giving presentations or grand public speeches is about being born with Charisma (whatever that is), or knowing advanced technical skills (like creating slick video PowerPoints), or having a huge vocabulary like William F. Buckley. No, these things are not the essence of speaking.

Asking is the essence of speaking....

Continued

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